Newsletter 11

January 2002

Given the response by so many of the national and international Sangha to the events following the 11th of September it seems fitting to also begin this newsletter with some comment. Meditation is not only a practice which can bring calmness and insight into our daily lives, it also increases our capacity to be with the difficult and enables the active expression of compassion for all who suffer. In this newsletter we have included responses from a number of spiritual teachers both on the specific events in the US and the Middle East, and also some responses to the challenge of being with suffering in general. We hope you find these helpful.

Many of the SIM group in Christchurch, alongside others from a wide range of spiritual, and political backgrounds have joined together in actions to promote peace. There is some further information regarding these in the newsletter.

Meanwhile practice continues and we have had two very successful retreats since the last newsletter. 23 people attended the Qi-Gong retreat in September with Mark and Russell. Meditation and movement complemented each other beautifully, with the Qi -Gong grounding the meditation and the meditation bringing the physical activity into focus.

We were also extremely fortunate to have Sharda Rogell visiting from the US and agreeing to take a weekend retreat at the Governors Bay Vicarage in early November. This retreat was extremely popular. Sharda is a highly respected and much sought- after international teacher, and she broke with her normal practice to teach a weekend rather than a full week retreat. Keeping with the intention to bring international teachers to New Zealand we anticipate next year being able to bring Stephen and Martine Batchelor from France to teach a 5 day retreat in September 2002.

In the meantime there are plenty of retreats, long and short and meditation days to support beginner and experienced meditators. The list of events is included as usual at the front. Russell Walker continues to offer evening talks every third Wednesday of the month at the Southern Insight sitting group meeting at Ferndale School in Merivale. These evenings are open to all so please feel free to join us.

Finally - Dharma-on-the-net! We are attempting to become more high-tech. If you would like to receive your newsletter by E-mail, and advance notice of upcoming retreats it will be possible to subscribe to our E-mail list. To do this simply E-mail us at southern.insight.meditation@xtra.co.nz. Just put 'subscriber ' in the subject box. Also, check out our new website, kindly and expertly created by Grant Focas, at http://insight.orcon.net.nz

 


NEWS FROM THE STEERING GROUP

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PLEASE CALL ME BY MY TRUE NAMES

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"There are many young girls, boat people, who are raped by sea pirates, and even though the United Nations and many countries try to help the government of Thailand prevent that kind of piracy, sea pirates continue to inflict much suffering on the refugees. One day we received a letter telling us about a young girl on a small boat who was raped by a Thai pirate. She was only 12 years old, and she jumped into the ocean and drowned herself. When you first learn of something like you get very angry at the pirate, and you naturally take the side of the young girl. But as you look more deeply you will see it differently. If you take the side of the little girl, then it's easy. You only have to take a gun, and shoot the pirate. But we cannot do that. In my meditation I saw that if I had been born in the village of the pirate, and raised in the same conditions as he was, there is a great likelihood that I would become one day a pirate myself. I saw that many babies are born along the Gulf of Siam, hundreds every day, and if we educators, social workers, politicians and others do not do something about this situation, in 25 years a number of them will become sea pirates. That is certain. If you and I were born today in those fishing villages, we may become sea pirates in 25 years also. If you take a gun and shoot the pirate, you shoot all of us. Because all of us are to some extent responsible for this state of affairs. So after a long meditation I wrote this poem, and in it there are three people: the pirate, the twelve year old girl, and me. Can we look at each other and recognise ourselves in each other. The title of the poem is 'Please Call Me By My True Names', because I have so many names. When I hear one of these names I have to say 'Yes'."

Do not say that I'll depart tomorrow,
because even today I still arrive.

Look deeply: I arrive every second,
to be a bud on a spring branch;
to be a tiny bird with wings still fragile,
learning to sing in my new nest;
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower;
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.
I still arrive in order to laugh and to cry,
in order to fear and to hope.
The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that are alive.

I am the mayfly, metamorphosing on the surface of the river,
and I am the bird, which when spring comes,
arrives in time to eat the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily in the clear pond,
and I am also the grass snake, who, approaching in silence,
feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs are thin as bamboo sticks,
and I am the arms merchant selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am a twelve year old girl, refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the Politburo, with plenty of power in my hands,
and I am the man who has to pay his debt of blood to my people,
dying slowly in a forced labour camp.

My joy is like spring,
so warm it makes flowers bloom in all walks of life.
My pain is like a river of tears, so full it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my all my cries and laughs at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up and so the door of my heart can be left open;
the door of compassion.

Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Zen Master, speaking about refugees who fled in boats from Vietnam, many of whom were murdered or raped by sea pirates from Thailand.


May all those who have suffered in these tragic events - ourselves, our friends, the victims of the September 11 attacks and their loved ones, the perpetrators and planners of the attacks, world leaders, who have had the responsibility of deciding how to respond, the people of Afghanistan, the Taliban and Osama Bin Laden, all people in the world suffering oppression, displacement, war, discrimination - may they all be safe and well. May their hearts know peace.


ACTING FOR PEACE

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Some members of Southern Insight have decided to put our bodies where our hearts are and get out on the streets of Christchurch to make public our wish for a peaceful resolution to this tragedy of meeting violence with more violence. At present we are holding half hour silent vigils in Cathedral Square on Saturdays between 12.30 and 1pm, with a closing metta meditation. We meet beside the Chalice. There are other ideas in the pipeline, and if you are interested in staying informed about future activities, please email Rachel and ask to be put on the email list:rachel.puentener@ngaitahu.iwi.nz


RESPONSES TO SEPTEMBER 11TH

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I've heard from a lot of people that they are more raw and irritable than usual and I also mentioned last night that somebody said some little controlling thing, I can't remember what it was, something like, you know, "don't put the plate there" or something like that and I kind of thought well you know… and I had something to say about that. I was going to make some kind of wisecrack, you know, but I saw that it wasn't really funny and it was actually kind of like, I was actually irritated by that little thing. And I could also see that what I was doing was connected to this. So I didn't say anything…but I think that, it would have been easy to make some smart comment and a lot of people are feeling like that right now and also it doesn't seem like we should be, right? But we are…we are having a hard time here. We're having a hard time so we've got to be careful and other people are having a hard time and some of them may not be careful…so it's a very difficult time for us to practice and be loving to each other. And that's one thing, that one way we can practice is to continue the practice of being loving to everybody we meet, not to say that that's easy, especially if they're being angry or irritable or challenging . We can still do that practice. We still have that practice available to us…and we may not be able to do it and if we can't do it, let's say let's reveal and disclose our lack of practice of love, let's say I'm sorry that I made that wisecrack, I'm sorry that I ridiculed you or you know…that's not the way I want to live. Sometimes in times like this we think 'forget the basics we've got to do something really big now' but then we get bogged down in the consequences of not taking care of the basics. If you can take care of the basics we might be able to do something based on that. So let's not undervalue being very kind to everybody we meet and being very patient with our pain, our irritability, our rawness, really work on those things then see what can happen or what can arise if we work on those things.
***
We need to watch out for self-righteousness now. The United States, lot of people in the United States and Europe agrees, are kind of feeling "we're right and they're wrong" These people were going to work in their offices, they were innocent, basically, we're the innocent country, we've been attacked. Rather than we have done things to accumulate and contribute to this situation, we're responsible for this, it's not them, it's not us, all of us are responsible for what happened. But we can't see that. And some of us want to see it and some of us who want to see it think we're better for wanting to than the people who don't want to. We've got to watch out for that. We have to watch out where we have a strong inclination to be self-righteous. And so if somebody looks like they're not doing something we think would be good, got to be really careful that we don't think we're better than them because we're doing what we think would be good for them to do…self-righteousness is very closely related to not respecting people.
***
Male speaker: In addition to coping with the suffering, I also noticed I welcome compassion for what's been portrayed so long for as Middle Eastern terrorists.

Reb: I think at some Buddhist places, the people are able to conceive to being open to compassion to the murderers, the people who have done this horrible thing but they don't feel compassion for people who want to punish them…but everybody deserves it, excuse me for saying it, even you-know-who deserves compassion. Everybody does. And each of us probably has somebody we feel like…they don't get on the list. So that's where we have to look…where are we saying "no, this person is off the chart". We all have such a thing I think.
***
I love, I really love some people who can barely stand to listen to the radio when that voice [George Bush] comes on, they turn the radio off, they just can't stand the voice…it's easier for them to be compassionate to the hijackers than to the President. So we all have our limits, right? So maybe some people can't be compassionate to the hijackers, ok, and some people can't be compassionate towards the President…So if I can admit "I'm getting irritated by the sound of this President's voice, I'm getting super irritated with these people and those people, I'm getting super irritated with my lover." If I can disclose my irritability I have a chance to say "I think I'd like to just drop this, I'd like to, like relax when I hear the voice of the President, I'd like to learn how to do that. I can't do it right now, but I'd like to learn how." Doesn't mean you have to listen to tapes of him all day long, but that's good - you're revealing and disclosing the limit of your practice in this case and I think each of us has…there's something about this situation that's pushing all of us…So, each of us should reveal where it is where we are losing our patience. Like maybe we have patience for the big difficulties but we're losing patience for the little difficulties or vice versa. But by revealing and disclosing, we melt away the root of this un-skillfulness.
***
I remember, I don't know how many years ago when the last big riot in Los Angeles was going on, but of course it was a terrible thing that happened there, and tremendous cruelty, but one thing good about it was that we knew about it. Whereas, the week before that there was tremendous cruelty going on and we didn't even know about it. We're kind of feeling like "oh yeah, LA's got smog, so what?" otherwise, there's movie stars and stuff, I guess but we weren't meditating on the cruelty that was going on in Central LA, so now we're aware of how cruel the world is….how cruel the world can be, we're aware of that and it's very hard for us to be aware of it. We're kind of sheltered from it most of the time. Now we're not. Now we're like people who have, you know, airplanes going through their house on a regular basis or we're opening up to the suffering of this world, that's the good side. Again, there's a limit on how much we can take, so we're also withdrawing and so on, but there's something good about our opening to this suffering. That's the good side. Now what other good things can come?
***
Last night I thanked one of the kitchen crew here for making lunch - she felt a little bit bad that while she was making lunch she kind of forgot about this tragedy. But I think from my perspective it was ok that she forgot about the tragedy if she paid attention to the lunch. If you forgot about the tragedy and also forgot about the lunch I would say at least remember the lunch. If you can concentrate on providing good food, and remember the whole world at the same time, fine, but sometimes in order to really not cut yourself or burn yourself, you have to totally concentrate on this little situation and because you do that, you don't get hurt and you can serve lunch to people and it's a good lunch.

Reb Anderson Roshi, in dialogue with students, Sept 12, 2001

***
Peace
Peace be with you.
Peace be with us all.
May we know in peace.
May we act in peace.
May we suffuse each moment of sensing with peacefulness.
May we clearly understand that the only "enemies" are hatred, greed, close-mindedness and fear-driven reactive behavior.

My friends, peaceful, clear-seeing presence is the essence of dharma practice. It is easy to practice when the howling of greed, hatred and delusion is quiet. It is immensly challenging bodhisattva work to bring forth peaceful clear seeing when everything around us is being seriously unsettled. Don't make the mistake of thinking, tomorrow I will practice, when I'm feeling better. Today is the time. Now is the place.

Please let this immense tragedy infuse and strengthen each of our determinations to become sources of inspiration for peaceful strength and peaceful activity, for the benefit of all beings.

However innumerable beings are, I vow to meet them
with kindness and interest.
However inexhaustible the states of suffering are, I
vow to touch them with patience and love.
However immeasurable the dharmas are, I vow to
explore them deeply.
However incomparable the mystery of interbeing, I vow
to surrender to it fully.
From this day hence with wisdom and compassion as my lamp and staff, I dedicate all my life energies to the welfare of all beings.

Tarchin Hearn, guiding teacher of the Wangapeka Centre, Sept 12, 2001


Amnesty International Support Group

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Amnesty International is a worldwide campaigning movement that works to promote all the human rights enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. In particular, Amnesty International campaigns to free all prisoners of conscience; ensure fair and prompt trials for political prisoners; abolish the death penalty and end torture of prisoners. The Southern Insight meditation group is about to establish an Amnesty International support group, primarily a letter writing group supporting a prisoner of conscience. If you are interested in becoming involved or want more information phone Paul on 381 0444.


COMMENTARY ON A POEM BY RUMI

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This talk is a commentary on a poem by the well known and well loved poet Jelaluddin Rumi. Rumi lived in the 13th century, born in what is now Afghanistan. He was a mystic, and founded the Mevlevi, the ecstatic dancing order that is known in the west as the Whirling Dervishes.

We take long trips,
We puzzle over the meaning of a
painting or a book,
When what we're wanting to see
and understand in this world,
We are that.

'We take long trips…'
In meditation, when we offer attention to the present moment, what can be a striking revelation is how much of the time we are elsewhere. We choose a simple enough activity- to be present, connected, attentive to what is- and what happens…something overtakes us and we are taken away on some trip.

One trip we find ourselves on in meditation practice is seeking stimulation, perhaps through indulging in some juicy fantasy about what we desire in the future, or perhaps through recycling memories. On retreats some people find themselves doing re-runs of T.V serials or movies; figuring out math's problems; or singing songs to themselves. This seeking is a restless energy. We wake up from one fantasy and chase another. It is like chasing mirages.

I remember sitting on the railway platform in Totnes where I lived in England waiting for a train. I became aware that every few moments my head would swivel so I could look down the track, willing the train to arrive. Suddenly it occurred to me that I could just wait, without wanting. The train would arrive by itself. A much more relaxed way of being!

Sometimes when seeking pleasant stimulation, we are escaping something unpleasant or painful. We may achieve temporary relief, however the underlying hurt lies unacknowledged, and doesn't shift. Sometimes the motivation for coming on retreat is to escape, to get away from our worries and concerns. However meditation is actually a confrontation with reality, not an escape.

Another perpetual trip that we can be on is trying to make things perfect, to have things sorted and in control. Trying to reduce our list of things to do to nothing. We rush to get things done so we can relax. However, there almost always seems something to do, and we rarely pause. Even if we do find an empty moment, our momentum of business urgently seeks another task, as we can't face the chasm of doing nothing.

We also take trips based on resistance, aversion or negativity. Something unpleasant, painful or disagreeable happens and we seek justice. It may be something hurtful that someone did or said, and we begin nurturing thoughts of revenge. The next time that we are hurt the only relief we know is massaging our hurt with angry thoughts. It becomes a habit and we may even erupt in being violent.

Another layer is judging our aversion. We are angry at what we see in ourselves and we push it away thinking that it should not be this way. Somehow pushing it away reinforces the anger. Meditation offers the opportunity to see the anger and judgement clearly, without demanding that it be anything else. Then it can change and pass according to its own nature.

'…We puzzle over the meaning of a painting or a book…'
We may find ourselves expending a lot of mental energy goes in to wanting to know and understand. Wanting to have things figured out. This can be a way of feeling in control. We think and think about something. Analysing, dissecting, trying to fix. In response to painful memories one meditator found himself analysing his emotions. He asked his meditation teacher what to do; thinking that there must be an extra step in meditation. He was inspired to hear that he could bring the same sensitive awareness to them. He did not need to figure anything out. Sometimes through awareness we become aware that there is something underneath the feeling. Once when experiencing jealousy, I realised that this feeling was actually rooted in a feeling of inadequacy. Seeing this was very freeing. By suspending judgement and analysis, we open to vast possibility. It can take some time for our inner landscape to come clear.

We also look for an answer outside ourselves thinking that we will find it in books, gurus, teachings, religion or a spiritual practice. All these things are at best a guide, a map for our own inner journey.
'…When what we're trying to see and understand in this world…'
There is a natural movement in us towards understanding, towards wholeness, truth, happiness, fulfillment. However, we may have to revise where we think it is found.

Rumi's last line offers a radical vision of where wholeness lies. '…We are that.'

'We are that.'
What we're looking for is actually right before us. What would it take for us to realise that we are whole and complete as we are, that our being is unfragmented and undivided? Self-doubt obscures this reality. The aim of spiritual practice is to dis-cover this truth. Meditation is the cultivation of this realisation, calling our essential wholeness into being. Making it real.

From a talk given by Russell Walker, September 2001



A PERIOD OF PROLONGED NAVEL-GAZING…

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In December last year I left New Zealand for six months of consolidated dharma practice in India and England.

First stop was the Bodhgaya retreats which take place every January in the Thai Monastery. Bodhgaya is the place where the Buddha is said to have attained enlightenment - a small village built around the Bodhi tree. Every year in the 'season' (Dec - Feb), Bodhgaya is flooded with people - pilgrims from Bhutan, thousands of Tibetan monks who come down from Dharamsala to spend the winter, traders from Nepal, westerners seeking the teachings of awakening…It is a happening place with many retreats and courses going on. Amongst all this there are three insight meditation retreats that run back to back - this year two 8 day retreats and a 12 day one. Many people attend all three (about 70 this year) which gives a strong feeling of sangha.

The retreat is quite unusual: children dressed in rags chanting like angels with the monks each morning (a very moving experience for me); Indian workers arriving each day to do the monastery chores; busloads of Thai pilgrims arriving and having dawn ordination ceremonies of head shaving around the fountain, taking photos of themselves among the 120 of us eating breakfast in the one patch of ground the sun has reached. One woman came up to me as I stood in meditation and asked "Where did you come from?" before her friend grabbed her arm and told her we were in silence - good question, I thought, where did 'I' come from?! This year we were treated to a Hindu wedding next door - loud music blaring for several hours, fireworks - very exciting! Monks and nuns, puppies, dogs howling as the temple bells are struck...

There was a wonderful balance of teachers -4 on each retreat, each with their own speciality. It was so helpful to be able to choose which teacher to talk to depending on what was going on in the practice. My retreat was made even more interesting than usual by my being bitten, late one night, by a crazed, inbred monastery dog. I spent the next day confronting the imminent possibility of death if I made the wrong decision about having a rabies shot (and possibly even if I made the right one, given the lack of refrigeration in Bodhgaya due to
the intermittent power supply). This horror was ended 24 hours later by the discovery that the dogs had thankfully been immunised.

As each retreat ends, a local aid organisation, 'People First', which works with the very poorest families in this, the poorest state in India, runs a 'village programme' that takes participants around local villages and explains their work. It was shocking to learn about the conditions that some of the human beings in this world live in, and it was heartening to see how much difference a simple programme can make in empowering people, using micro-credit schemes, self-sustaining schools and the like. It was also beautiful to experience the warmth and hospitality of these people.

At the end of Bodhgaya, many of us moved on to 'the Sarnath experience'. On the way there I managed to break one of my fingers and severely crush another in a train window. More mindfulness required!!! This resulted in my receiving the nickname of AnguliJulie ('Anguli' is the Pali word for finger and refers to a story in the suttas about a mass murderer!).

Sarnath is another Buddhist pilgrimage site, the place where the Buddha gave his first teachings, and is just outside Varanasi, on the banks of the holy Ganges. The retreat there has an entirely different format, with much more emphasis on sangha. Ten teachers and up to 250 students live around the village, mostly outside the monastery, and each day offers two one hour group discussions (a choice of 4 each time, on varied topics: Time? What time?/Women's issues/Clarity and Compassion/Sutta study groups/Sexuality and Honesty/Clinging/Right Speech…), 4 one hour sits, a dharma talk, morning yoga instruction and an evening programme which alternates between inquiry sessions with Christopher Titmuss and anything like sutta readings, workshop sessions etc - the day is very full. Students attend as much or little as they please, eat in local restaurants and hang out in the chai shops. I really enjoyed the verbal contact with people, it was truly wonderful to spend a whole month eating, breathing and talking dharma.

A high point for me was meeting and spending time with a German theravadin monk named Stardust. A monk for 20 years, he has spent the last 2 years walking from Bodhgaya to Ladakh and back, living a life of surrender and relying solely on hospitality for food and shelter. He just radiated appreciative joy and was delightful and very inspiring to be around.

It was hard not to want to hang on to such a wonderful experience and I noticed how much difficulty I have with endings, especially as I had no firm plans after Sarnath. I ended up in Varanasi with several other sangha members, working in a leprosy clinic on the main ghat (steps down to the Ganges). Once I got used to the horrifying wounds people

turned up with it was a very rewarding experience - It felt like we were doing something that was really making a difference to people's lives. There are lots of opportunities for voluntary work around Varanasi - Mother Teresa has homes there for the destitute and there are programmes for working with street children. My trip to the hospital to get my finger X-rayed also made it obvious there is a need for people who are willing to just be there for patients, many of whom are very afraid (as well they might be in an Indian hospital).

A short side trip to Rishikesh (which is where you go if you want to study yoga, the place is littered with ashrams! It's also a lovely place to hang out and practice, with white sand beaches and clean green water, and courses available in Shiatsu, Reiki etc) and it was off to the UK to spend 3 months in silence at Gaia House retreat centre in Devon.

It was truly a blessing to have this opportunity for looking deeply, supported by teachers and managers and the wonderful facilities available. I especially appreciated the library, with over 2000 tapes of dharma talks by teachers from all over the world, the two interviews each week with teachers, and the beautiful natural surroundings. Long term retreatants are housed in the 'hermitage' wing, and can choose whether to follow their own programme or to join in with the retreats taking place each week in the main part of the building. A highlight of this time was a one week retreat with Reb Anderson Roshi of San Francisco Zen - so for my next dharma adventure the intention is to spend January on retreat at his centre in California…watch this space!!!

Julie Downard

"If you had to make only one statement to the universe about your life, the only one that makes sense is to express gratitude and appreciation for all of life, including the dark."
Stardust

Dana

Dana is a Pali word meaning gift or generosity (Pali is the language that the Buddha's teachings were originally recorded in). In the tradition of Insight Meditation, teachings are offered freely, the teachers receiving only voluntary donations from people who receive instruction. This continues an Eastern tradition established in the days of the Buddha where the monks and nuns received no payment for their guidance and depended solely upon donations of food, clothing, shelter and medicine. Similarly donations made to teachers allow them to continue making teachings of wisdom and compassion available.

Dana is a very beautiful and precious aspect of the dharma (teachings and practice). It supports the teachings being available to as many people as possible, and is born of a belief that they are in fact priceless, and no monetary value can be placed on them. If dharma practice is to take root and flower in the west then the culture of dana also needs to grow.


SUPPORTING OUR RESIDENT TEACHER

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Although Russell currently holds a part time job to bring in an income, the more financial support we as a sangha can give him the more time he is able to spend writing talks, leading retreats, etc. Russell is also expecting his first child very soon. If you would like to contribute dana to help support his work, there is an account in his name at the ASB:
12-3147-0112633-50


On the hunt!

We are on the look out for possible retreat venues. These can be in Canterbury or anywhere in the South Island . They need to have a room for meditation that is separate from where food preparation and eating takes place They also need to be low cost and able to accommodate at least 20 people.

If you know of any places you think might be suitable we would be very keen to here from you. Please E-mail Southern Insight or telephone Russell on 388 8951

INTRODUCTION TO MEDITATION

Russell Walker will lead another introductory course in February 2002. For more information and to register, please phone him on 388 8951.